I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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