The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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