What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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