Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
