i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
