just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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