Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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