I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
