and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
