Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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