how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
