Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
