I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
