Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
