Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
