Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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