all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
