I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
