I am in a vortex of obligation.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
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