I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
