nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
