My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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