I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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