I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
organizing the empties. That sober.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
