Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
