i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The Olympian is in my bed
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
