he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
