i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
