Christians are straight up FREAKS
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
