told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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