Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
