i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
