so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize