I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
