and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All the doctor said was why
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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