so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
