Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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