Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
