You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
