Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
