1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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