I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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