You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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