he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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