So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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