I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
