We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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