well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
