You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
