My liver just broke up with me...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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