I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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