Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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