he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
